You made friends in the city and now you’ll no doubt find your crew in suburbia!
BY ILANA ARAZIE
Leaving our best friends behind in the city is not always easy, though if they are smart, they will join us in the suburbs one day soon! Either way, making new friends can be tricky. We are a bit more selective these days and it can be a little harder to open up to someone new at this stage of the game. But it’s not impossible!
Many moms I’ve spoken to have made some of the best friends in their lives, after a new move. A mom named Aileen says, “I had a really difficult time making new friends when I moved. But, I started chatting up moms in the park because I was desperate for adult conversation and then I made sure to swap info. It almost felt like I was using my former single life “pick up” skills. People used to joke that I picked up my mom friends at the park, like ooh, I really like that diaper bag, where did you get it? Want to hang out at my kiddie pool tomorrow? I have extra Gogurts.”
I also try to talk to every mom on the playground, with a big smile. About a year ago, I even chatted up a dad and then stalked, I mean googled, his awesome wife and was convinced that she was my soul-friend-mate. Today, we are still hanging out enjoying some really fun times together with and without our kids.
However, it’s true that looking for mom friends feels like dating. Sometimes the connection works and sometimes it really does not and you want to “swipe again.” The key is to never take what happens with a potential friend personally (It’s not you! It’s just chemistry?) and keep staying open to attracting new buddies. Here are some other tips for finding some great friendships after a move to the burbs:
Bring Them Treats
When someone you might want to know moves to a neighborhood, bring them a new plant, cake or lasagna one evening. Being a welcoming face and greeting someone at their door is a nice way to start a relationship. Of course, if you don’t want to show up without calling, maybe just leave the gift at their door with a nice note. Hopefully, they contact you with a nice thank you and budding friendship can begin.
Pick the Right Hood
Not all communities are filled with people that you can relate to, so pick your hood wisely. A friend I know always felt out of place living on Long Island, but when she moved to Michigan she made friends instantly!
Sign up for classes that might interest you like, breastfeeding, mommy and me music classes, yoga, business or classes. Chances are good that you’ll meet someone who shares your interests at one of these classes, and you might hit it off. And if not, you’re having fun at a class you love.
If you have children, you will probably meet your next best girlfriend through their activities. Keep an eye out for other cool moms on the soccer field or on the parking lot after school. Maybe you’ll get lucky and your kid’s new best friend at school will have awesome parents that you might want to get to know, too.
Join a Mom’s Club
MOMs Club is a national organization with chapters all around the country, filled with moms looking for friends. I joined a chapter in the Rivertowns and instantly had fun playdates scheduled each week. I’m still friends with many of the moms in the group, and we enjoy activities with our kids as well as after-hour happy hours together too!
Give it Time
Be patient because it can take a while to create good friendships. Sometimes we take it personally if another mom doesn’t want to become our best friend instantly, and I’m guilty of that! But the truth is that over time if you stay open and keep creating fun play dates with new moms, you will find best girlfriends in the suburbs.
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