You made friends in the city, and now you’ll no doubt make new friends in suburbia!
BY ILANA ARAZIE
Leaving close friends behind when you move is never easy. But don’t worry – though it’s hard to make friends when you move, it’s not impossible.
Many moms I’ve spoken to have made some of the best friends in their lives after a new move. A mom named Aileen says, “I had a really difficult time making new friends when I moved. But, I started chatting up moms in the park because I was desperate for adult conversation and then I made sure to swap info. It almost felt like I was using my former single life ‘pick up’ skills. People used to joke that I picked up my mom’s friends at the park, like ooh, I like that diaper bag, where did you get it? Want to hang out at my kiddie pool tomorrow? I have extra Gogurts.”
I also try to talk to every mom on the playground with a big smile. About a year ago, I even chatted up a dad and then stalked, I mean googled, his awesome wife and was convinced that she was my soul-friend-mate. Today, we still hang out and enjoy some fun times with and without our kids.
However, looking for mom friends can feel a lot like dating. Sometimes the connection works. Sometimes, it does not, and you want to “swipe again.” The key is to never take what happens with a potential friend personally (It’s not you! It’s just chemistry?) and keep staying open to attracting new buddies. Here are some other tips for making friends when you move:
Pop By With a Surprise
Making new friends after moving begins with someone taking the first step. If there is someone you want to be friends with in the neighborhood, bring them a new plant, cookies, cake, or lasagna one evening.
Being a friendly face and greeting someone at their door is a nice way to start a relationship. Of course, if you don’t want to show up without calling, maybe just leave the gift at their door with a nice note. Ideally, they contact you with a nice thank you, and a budding friendship can begin.
Pick the Right Hood When Moving to the Suburbs
Not all communities are filled with people you can relate to, so pick your hood wisely. A friend I know always felt out of place living on Long Island, but when she moved to Michigan, she made new friends instantly! Making new friends after moving is as much about finding places to go and socialize as it is about finding people you connect with.
Join Classes to Make New Friends
To make friends when you move, it can be as simple as doing what sounds like fun. Sign up for classes that might interest you, like breastfeeding, mommy and me music, yoga, or business classes. Chances are good that you’ll meet someone who shares your interests in one of these classes, and you might hit it off. And if not, you’re having fun at a class you love.
Kids’ Activities
If you have children, you will probably meet your next best friend through kids; activities. Keep an eye out for other moms on the soccer field or in the parking lot after school. Maybe you’ll get lucky, and your kid’s new best friend at school will have awesome parents you want to get to know, too!
Join a Mom’s Club
MOMs Club is a national organization with chapters all around the country, designed to help you make friends when you move. I joined a chapter in the Rivertowns and instantly had fun play dates scheduled each week. I’m still friends with many of the moms in the group, and we enjoy activities with our kids as well as after-hour happy hours together too!
Give it Time
Above all, be patient because. It can take a while to create good friendships. Sometimes, we take it personally if another mom doesn’t want to instantly become our best friend (I’m guilty!). But the truth is that over time, if you stay open and keep creating fun playdates with new moms, you will find the best girlfriends in the suburbs.
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